"Are they Prada?"

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Last night a man 23 years my senior asked me If I wanted to exchange phone numbers. This was after I was held at the club door for looking barely 16, and after Blake's reassurance that I really was the age written on my drivers license... That the door man finally let me through.
Sometimes people start a conversation like this. "Do people ever tell you that you look like (Insert a movie star's name)." For me I generally get Miley Cyrus. A...why thank you, I am so happy I look like a prepubescent Disney Channel Pop Star! :) I guess I should be pleased, I mean looking like a movie star is a great compliant right? Who would ever want to be beautiful because they look like themselves! And for the record I came first, Miley Cyrus really is only 16. They should be saying she looks like me!

As I sat there at the club, Blake chatting it up with complete strangers I realized there is a double standard in a married couples social life. When Blake tells a single person he is married 9 times out of ten they can still stand there carrying on a great conversation. If I tell a single person I'm married they run in the opposite direction. This also tells me that:

A. These single people are coming to me based on either the prospect of a date or that I look like Miley Cyrus and they want an autograph.

B. These people are staying with Blake's non-single self because of his buttery personality


C. I am a social retard

.... so were does this leave me, chatting it up with creepy 45 year olds? Maybe I should add in a letter D. Hip married woman looking for female wing woman. NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY! At least then I would always have a buddy! Now you are probably asking yourself why is Blake not standing there beating off the RiFf RaFf. People, he is a stellar social butterfly and who am (the social retard) I to hold the man back:)

On my way out I was stopped for a conversation about my shiny black pumps. A man whom I have now dubbed Jean Pierre puffed elegant rings of cigarette smoke. He was dressed in monochromatic shades of black and his head was swathed in a side swept beret.
"Nice shoes man...Are they Prada?"... NO... UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE... "Dolce Gabbana?"... NO..."Hmmm." IN TIGAN'S MIND: No you crazy man they are discount nine west shoes from Ross, you are old enough to be my father and I will not go out with you!
Did I mention that these were two separate occasions with different senior men. One of which had a son my age... HELLO!!! Oh well I guess I still have my discount Prada/Dolce Gabbana/Ross stilettos.

If you haven't noticed I'm a cheeky little thing. Don't take it personally{wink, wink}

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  1. Tigan, this post is quite funny. Good writing. Hasn't Miley Syrus recently been caught in some naughty photos? Maybe that's why all the old men are after you.

  2. I must say that when reading your post I can always assure myself there will be witty comments and laughter. I love it. Plus you are much cuter than Miley Syrus.


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