A Baby Tale

Friday, February 19, 2010

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Yep, thats right they've up an left me, 2 of my very closest friends are well on their way to joining the ranks of motherhood and with that comes the dreaded... Du Du Dun BABY SHOWER! I know I'm suppose to love baby showers. I'm a girl it should be ingrained in the fibers of my being or something... RIGHT? I'm sure you all know home much I just enjoy children, it's not that I hate them they just make me seriously uncomfortable.
However there is one think I do know about baby showers, you have to take a GIFT. Easy enough... so I set out to find the perfect gift for my very first Baby Shower. Feeling confident I lacquered my lips in the review mirror with my favorite gloss and and turned the ignition it was at this point that I realized I hadn't the slightest clue what to gift for a baby shower. So... I called my MOM surly she would know what I should get.

RING RING...Hello?

Tigan: (urgently) " Mom I need to get a gift for a baby shower, what should I do?"

Mom: (duh Tigan) "Just go to the baby section"

So off I went...

Enter: Baby Section

First I started in the bottles, binkys and other various baby products. But since my knowledge base was quite small in this area I quickly moved on to the toys. I was immediately drawn to the dolls but seeing as the shower was for a boy I thought it best not to select the curly headed baby doll with matching pink bow and dress. Then I pushed all the buttons on the toys that made noise which gave me a head ache and so I decided if they drove me crazy they were sure to drive the expectant mother up the wall. Ex-na on sound making baby toys which brought me to the baby clothes. Now I love clothes so I though to myself ahh at last something I recognize. As I began to browse the racks I started to notice a creepy little baby trend... the clothing sported images of puppies or alligators with teeth that looked like pillows. Everything resembled pajamas except that they didn't have holes for the hands or feet. It was all so cutsie and....PASTEL! It was at this moment that I started to break out into a cold sweat and the reality that I would, that very evening be sitting in a room filled with women that ooed and ahhed the baby presents as they were passed around the circle and that we might possibly be playing baby games like guess the tummies size with T.P. or that baby diaper game were they make those cookies that look like pooh. By now I felt positively ill and I called Blake to tell him that I was currently standing in some sort of Baby Hell and I wasn't sure if I was going to make it out alive and then... out of the corner of my eye I saw it! Gleaming like a beacon of light CALVIN KLEIN! I ran arms out stretched tears filling my eyes until I felt the soft fuzzy material hit the tips of my fingers. The perfect baby shower gift a set of 5 Calvin Klein beige, white and aqua striped onsies! With baby gift in hand I happily paid the cashier and then wrapped the gift in a yellow Kelly Wearstler-esque gift bag.

By the way the Baby Shower didn't turn out half bad we didn't play any games and there was minimal ooing and ahhing. On a side note they just called me to be the Baby Shower Coordinator in our ward. Are you kidding me... I seriously think they make this stuff up I mean have you ever head a baby shower coordinator!

* in an effort to think up a brilliant title for this post I googled baby quotes and sayings this is what it came up with.

{Getting a burp out of your little thing is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across. It's truly one of life's most satisfying moments.-Brad Pitt} Wow LOL

{A baby is an angel whose wings decrease while his legs increase.} I'm sorry but that visual is positively repulsive


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  1. haha, I love it. That is exactly how I was before we got our little surprise. I wouldn't say I was just "uncomfortable" with kids, I couldn't stand them! However, now that I have my own it has completely flipped, just wait!


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