Fight or FlightWednesday, October 28, 2009
I think things are harder the second time around especially if a significant amount of time has transpired since the last time that thing was done. A couple of months ago I got this wild hair and decided it would be fun to start trying out for musicals again. It's like riding a bike right?... WRONG!
At this point I would like to describe my complete and utter dislike for any scenario that might fit into these particular "fight or flight" situations. I say "fight or flight" because basically I'm either going to push threw stand firm and be a grown-up or I'm going to sit down on the ground and cry until all my problems are absolved. For example I was at the call back for this recent musical audition I told you about and as I sat there clammy, jittery and about to pee my pants watching the rest of the auditioners cycle through the room singing various musical numbers from the show. I thought to myself if they call my name... right now... I am going to DIE. Literally just drop over and DIE. Sometimes I just really really don't want to be a grown up anymore. Sometimes I just want to be a teenager again when the only drama in my life revolved around my pimples and who though I was cute. Unfortunately those insecurities don't seem to have gone away. I still wonder if I'm cute and I still have pimples. On second thought I think I might be seriously getting a raw deal here.
AH, This is rich my phone just rang.
A couple of weeks ago my Mom basically told me my inner time clock was running out. And I shouldn't wait to long to have children (I'm 23). Then she told me I should stop trying to find a job I liked and just get a practical job like working at McDonald. Picture this with me for just a minute...
Tigan waddles to the counter big belly plopped over the edge. " Do you want fries with that? "
*(This in no way reflects upon those that do work at McDonalds, good for you! While it may not be glamorous you're still getting paid and I'm still not. You are a much better women or man then I.)
I know I've ranted and raved long enough. I guess the moral of this story is... in life you have two choices you either run outta the room screaming. Or when they call your name and the room goes silent and the on lookers begin to whisper and the judges sit there quietly wait. You stand up, put on a brave face, smile and belt it out like crazy.
* By the way Mom you know I love ya!